I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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