ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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