There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
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Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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