Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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