I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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