We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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