Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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