Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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