If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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