How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize