Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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