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Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
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