I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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