That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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