my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize