Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Im part way to drunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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