i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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