when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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