i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize