the new term for farting is butt boxing.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I need water and some morals
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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