The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
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I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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