He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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