Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize