she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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