Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize