Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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