I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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