If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize