I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize