I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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