You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We got so high we made milksteak
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
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Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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