apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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