there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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