I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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