I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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