So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
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Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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