You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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