I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize