Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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