My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize