um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
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I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
send nudes
from the living room?
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