We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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