Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize