If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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