im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
love makes seman taste better
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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