Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize