i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think people are normalizing furries
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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