I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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