After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
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our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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