i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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